Missing Flights, Resets, and Divorce

 In Blog, Divorce

So I had an opportunity to be “that guy” the other day…You know, the amateur, irresponsible person who can’t seem to do something basic like catch a flight.  Up until then, I had been proud to have served for 18 years in the Army National Guard, flown all over the world, and never missed a flight.  Typically when it did happen to the people I knew, missing flights was usually due to something stupid like having a few too many beers in the airport bar.  But there I was, standing at the ticket counter, with the polite, inexperienced contractor for American Airlines, who regretted to inform me that I had just missed the baggage check deadline by five minutes and would not be able to board.  I was irritated for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the fact I had actually been waiting in line to check in with American for at least the last five minutes.

But it was my mistake, I could have planned better, arrived earlier, and it wouldn’t have happened.  Now all that was left to do was let my commanding officer know that her senior logistics planning officer would not make her logistics planning event until sometime after it started…awesome.  I was embarrassed and felt like I’d let her and the whole team down.  I was being “that guy” who couldn’t get himself together enough to show up early and make a flight.  And I didn’t even have a good story to go with it like…I was so drunk or…so I ran into this girl…

After I got pissed, calmed down, and harikari’d myself to my commander, I realized the incredible opportunity that had presented itself – I now had a “do-over,” a “mulligan,” or a “reset.”  I would be flying out the next day at the same airport at the same time, and I had a whole new day to prepare for my trip the right way.  I went back to the office and planned out my day.  By the end of the day, my office work was caught up, my staff had clear guidance on what needed to happen while I was gone, I was well packed and prepared for my trip, and I even had the dirty dishes out of the sink. I felt great!  Where I had been nervous and unprepared for my trip before, I was now extremely confident I was both ready to leave the office and prepared for the exercise.

I felt like Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day, where I had a complete do-over on my travel prep day, and I had eventually nailed it.  The next morning, I flew out with no (major) problems.

But the whole experience reminded me of the people I talk to every day, people who are going through their own personal “resets” in life.  No one wants a relationship or marriage to end, to be in a situation where they don’t have access to their children, or to become financially dependent on another person – only to see them run off with the new secretary.  All of this sucks.  It’s painful, but it happens.  The question then becomes…what are we going to do about it?

And the choices are generally this – 1. Do nothing, deny the situation is happening, let the other person take the lead, and hope things work out for the best; 2. Get angry, try to punish the other person for the choices they’ve made, even if you end up punishing yourself in the long run; or 3. Make a plan to fix the situation and prepare yourself for the future.  Door number three is the business that I’m in.  None of us can go back to the future, but if life has given us a personal reset, then it’s up to us to decide which path we are going to take.

It’s January 2017, it’s the beginning of a new year, and it’s time for new starts.  If you or someone you love is going through a reset and has serious choices to make, please give us a call and set up a time to talk to us about those choices, so that they can find out how to make a new plan for a better day ahead.
Thanks  -Evan

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